Quote 7 - Humour : Explaining by Cows

This is taken from GQ April 2007.

- Politics -
Socialism
You have two cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

Communism
You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism
You have two cows. The state takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism
You have two cows. The state takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism
You have two cows. The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

- Business -
American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell on, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

Arthur Andersen Model
You have two cows. You shred them.
(* Note:- Arthur Andersen is one of the big five accounting firms that had collapsed following the Enron scandal. Shredding here means destroying evidence.)

French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on a strike, riot and block the roads because you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are ten times smaller and produce 20 times the milk.

German Corporation
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 1oo years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

Italian Corporation
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

Swiss Corporation
You have 5ooo cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

Chinese Corporation
You have two cows. You have 3oo people milking them. You claim you have high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

Indian Corporation
You have two cows. You worship them.

British Corporation
You have two cows. Both are mad.

Iraqi Corporation
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have no cows but they still invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy...

Welsh Corporation
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
(*Note:- Okay, I don't get this one, anyone care to explain? Please. )

Australian Corporation
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office for the day and go for a few beers to celebrate.

0.0" Sweat. I so "eng" (free) copy all this out. Anyway, it's worth it as I think this is pretty good. Again, the credit goes to GQ April 2007, p. 42